If you happen to be one of the millions of people who either read or listen to the success self-help gurus that the USA seems to be able to generate in their thousands sprouting such terms as NLP, the Secret, 10 habits and other such like, the you would recognise the advice that you do not need to have negative friends.

Some of these gurus will advise you ditch these friends and family people and hang around only with positive people. Others are more responsible and advise that you hang out with people who have the same aspirations or, if you lucky, who already are what you aspire to be and less time with those who would ‘dampen your enthusiasm’.

On the other hand, if you listen to some of the most successful businessmen in the world, you do not need ‘yes men’ around you. Ideally, you should find people who complement your skills, preferably cleverer than you and just as committed and who are likely to advise you and say so when they think you are wrong. All you have to remember is that you are the boss and ultimately you are responsible for your business venture.

I have always liked proving those who say ‘it won’t work’, ‘you’re making the wrong decision’, ‘why rock the boat, things are fine as they are’ wrong. Life would be so much less fun if everyone thought I was doing the right thing but on the other hand, especially when you are in the process of change, negative friends can be very wearing, sometimes so much so that they just suck the fun of the journey.

I have in the past lost friends for various reasons but I would never advise anyone to ditch their friendships, good friends are just too hard to find. And yes, a lot of the times your negative friends care about you and would hate to see you hurt if you fail.

I think it is a matter of balance, when your negative friends and family are wearing you down, spend a little time with the ‘Yes men’ in your life (I need one of those) or better still join some club, group of people trying to achieve the same goals as you. When you are getting too big for your boots, feeling the world can’t touch you; visit a negative friend for a good dose of ‘realism’.

Make you find the balance.

[First published on my Talking2Myself blog on specified date]