“If you cannot be by yourself for an hour, or for a day, or for a week then you don’t like yourself” so rants ‘Payroll da Pimp’ in his ‘Rebirth’ audio book. [WARNING : Do not look this book up if you are easily offended – whilst the book is positive – the language used to deliver it is likely to upset, if you are over, say, 30 .] Dr. Wayne Dyer, internationally best-selling author of ‘The Power Of Intention’ is reported to have said “You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with.”

Being alone does not necessarily mean being lonely and when it does; it does not mean that is necessarily negative. Many life coaches, self help gurus and other modern day motivators recommend a bit of ‘me’ time and certainly many faiths prescribe quiet contemplation, meditation and prayer. Even Jesus got 40 days of being alone in the desert!

If you think about it, prayer is like talking to yourself, isn’t it? You tell God what it is you want, what you need, what help you need and sometimes to be thankful for the small his or life’s small mercies. Sometimes you mention others, like the sick and poor, and sometimes you moan about the damn politicians and their constant messing?

I truly believe that to truly understand who you are does require you to be alone with your thoughts on a regular basis. If you use that time to examine the influences and the environment you live in, you may surprise yourself. You might find out what YOU feel is important not what other want you to feel is important or maybe how funny you are or how clever!

I take my ‘me’ time very early in the morning before the family wake up for the day. I try to have a little time every day but that’s not always possible. Sometimes I take a walk and sometimes I just sit there with a hot cuppa and contemplate any subject that comes to mind. Many times, those thoughts slowly build into decisions or plans of action or inaction.

Do not be sold on the growing cultural disdain for loneliness, it seems to be a pressure to stop you thinking but thinking is what us humans do and I would not hesitate to add, need. If you have never made time for you, try it for a month and see if you won’t make it a habit. And if you do find, you do not like yourself, maybe it’s time for change?

May you find the balance.

[First published on my Talking2Myself blog on specified date]