Saturday was my birthday and I didn't do much in the way of celebrations, in fact I didn't really feel in a celebratory mood. For some reason I woke up with the image of a blue sky, my children laughing and splashing in a clear blue sea, a white sandy beach with lovely big picnic spread and the smell of fish and meat on the barbeque. Everything I did just did not seem to shake that picture from my head.

So I made it past blue Mondaya and "sickie" Tuesday but crashed and burned on my birthday! Actually I'm not sure I crashed and burned at all, I just felt, well, a little blue. Over the past few months I have endeavoured, despite my shortcomings such as my gym attendance, to keep a positive attitude and it has generally made me feel more content. There was no reason to feel like I did on Saturday and I did my best to shake it off to very little avail. I even went for a walk in that cold! Maybe it was the weather that was to blame - winter is just not good for me!

This got me thinking - do I need to feel this way some times, does it serve some useful function to get a little blue now and again? Maybe it does because if anything, the mood has crystallised more clearly what I know I want in the next few years. The blues side comes from knowing I have to be patient and wait for events to unfold. I hesitate to say the right time because in most cases, there is no right time, there is just the time.

But then there are some people that never seem to even get down, blue or depressed or do they just hide it? I don't know.

Whatever it is, I still have that beach so clear in my mind and my mood has improved. But still - roll on summer.

May you find the balance.

[First published on my Talking2Myself blog on specified date]